


my hyung

by Bae6104



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Female Byun Baekhyun, M/M, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun-centric, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-29 01:44:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17798756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bae6104/pseuds/Bae6104
Summary: what's so wrong with loving him on quietness?not when your sister is as in love as you are, as he always leaves you breathless at hello.





	my hyung

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
> this is like.. an old fanfic i didn't even realize i had until i skimmed thorough my chanhun folder.  
> please kindly forgive me for grammatical error bc firstly english is not my first language, secondly i wrote this such a longgggg time ago I'm not kidding, it was like 3 years ago? i guess? so i beg you to forgives, and last.. I'm suck at making title, lol again please forgive me for the lame title.  
> enjoy!

Sehun never be the one who talk too much. Its either a simple nod, a tight smile, or a very polite bow.

 

 

Sehun loves to observes everything in his quietness, he loves to take notes about everything in his pretty little head, he loves to feel the peace in the form of the quietness around him, he fell in love in quiet.

 

His life is not the kind of a boring life where quiet people always living in. he lives awesomely in the fame and popularity that comes along with his features. People adores him, people cheers for him, but he only likes quietness, therefor he doesn’t like people. But until this time and forevermore, he’ll love loudness the most, for his older sister that he loves the most is the only pleasured loudness in his life.

Baekhee, his older sister by two years, is the kind of girl people always called as a chatter box, he doesn’t need to be loud in his life, for his sister have been loud enough for both of them. His sister is the only people in his world, he most treasured. Ever since they were little toddlers who know nothing but playing with their own snots, he always gives in to the older, he gives in to her loudness.

He gives the quietness of his love in, for her.

 

 

 

 

“sehunaaaa!!!!”

Loud shrieks sehun comes to live with for all his life suddenly comes to his way, jolting him awake from his little daydream.

“Yes noona?”

He smiles up softly to the older once she arrives just in front of him. And the older, she smiles equally soft to the younger, feeling a little sad that the world outside is unlucky enough to never witness the beautiful smile of sehun’s.

Lost in her pity to the world, she forgets the main reason she runs all the way upstairs to sehun’s room. Seemingly comes to her sense, she chats excitedly to the younger.

“oh! OH! Yah!! Oh sehun!! Why you never tell your noona that you are friends with such handsome guy huh??!”

Too excited, she hits the poor sehunnie who only cringes and dodges her weak punch away from his body.

“Who do you mean by handsome guy ??”

Sehun asks confusedly, still covering his lean body from his sister non-stop hitting.

“You know, that tall guy, chan- chan nyeol?”

Hearing that name form from his older sister lips, sehun’s heart skip a beat. Being all too familiar with the name, yet strange enough to bring his heart to its faster speed, but yet he found peace in it.

But then again, he found a sheer of blush blossomed on the tip of his older sister’s cheek, that’s when his heart sinks out of sudden.

“It’s Chanyeol noona, and w-what about him?”

Gulping down his nerve, he tries to ask.

“He’s downstairs, he was looking for you”

He answer her with nothing, body aching to meet the man downstairs to even give a mind about his sister behaviour. Just when he was about to leave his room, a soft little hand stop him on his track.

“And sehunaa? Introduce him to me sometime”

She smiles hopefully to the younger; loves hopes rainbows are there, inside his sister’s sparkling little eyes. And that’s when he knows; he should sacrifice another gives in, for her.

 

 

“hyung..”

He’s breathless,

Sehun is breathless.

“Oh hey sehunnie, you finally down”

Sehun is even more breathless. Chanyeol smiling up to him, with his eyes that crinkle beautifully and his lips spreads prettily are some kind of gestures, chanyeol’s gestures that could knock sehun out anytime anywhere.

“Sehun ?”

His wondering thought stops as a seemingly strong hands waving in front of him. “Should we go?”

chanyeol asks softly, offering his hand, his strong big hand, for sehun to take.

Still dashed from the event, sehun stares dumbly to chanyeol’s hand, eyes blinking dumbly to the empty hand that tempted him to just grab it with his slender one.

“Uh where?”

Again, he dumbly blinks up at the older, gaining a really soft chuckle that sounds much like music in his ears.

“Didn’t you promise me yesterday to accompany me to the bookstore?”

chanyeol asks, and sehun finally come down from his high, finally remembering why he keep daydreaming upstairs awhile ago, because he was about to go out with the taller, just the two of them.

“Oh! Lets go then!!”

Sehun cheers excitedly, not even hesitant to grab the taller arms and guide him out of the mansion, presenting chanyeol his most bright smile, that not even the world ever witnessed, not even her sister in the most simplest way.

 

 

 

“sehuna, is that your sister from earlier?”

chanyeol asks slowly. They were siting face to face in the ice cream booth, ordering their favourites like always.

Chocolate is the flavour he loves the most, but as chanyeol ask that one question, it’s suddenly taste way too bitter.

“yes, why hyung?”

He asks back coolly, focus on stuffing his face with as much ice cream, to freeze his heart to un-feel the obvious pain.

“Nothing”

chanyeol simply answers, but sehun eyes, they’re not missing the slight curl on the corner of the taller lips.

Sehun stuffs more ice cream to his system.

 

 

 

 

 

“hyung is it okay if I come along?”

Sehun asks the taller in his side, voice full with doubts.

“Don’t worry, they’ll like you”

He smiles reassuringly, mindlessly ruffling the younger head, and that’s when sehun lost his sense.

 

He sometimes wonders; who is he? Who is he for the taller? Are they close like what he thinks they are? Are they dating like what he hopes they are, or are they only friends? But then why is chanyeol treating him this way.

 

And soon, his question answered.

Just friends.

 

“aiihhh, who is this cutie?”

luhan, the birthday boy chanyeol told earlier sequels loudly as soon as he saw him, kinda remind him of his own sister.

“Oh, I brought a friend here lu! Luhan this is sehun, sehun this is luhan”

chanyeol introduces them casually, mindless about what he just said, mindless with what the impact of what he just said to sehun’s heart.

Sehun froze in his way as he bow to the older birthday boy, body stiff as it won’t receive any reality that chanyeol just state them as friend, friend only.

 

 

 

 

 

The bell rings crazily to his dislikes, he grunts down angrily as he makes his way down to open the door. Usually it was his sister’s job to open the door, simply because he doesn’t interacts well with people.

“oh hyung?”

To say sehun is shocked to see a well-dressed chanyeol in his front door is an understatement. Sehun almost lost his cool and droll on his spot if not his sister run down loudly downstairs and ruin his time to adore the perfection right in his front.

“I’m here to pick your sister”

chanyeol smiles shyly, red is tinting his cheek, sight sehun never saw not even once.

 

 

“byeee little oneeeee”

Her sister cheers as he walks out the door in chanyeol arms.

As soon as the door closed on his very face, Sehun slides down to the ground, his legs are being too weak to even support his body, mind too loose to sensing around him, only pain and ache he can sense. His heart cries, his eyes shut from reality.

 

Sehun has been in love with chanyeol as long as he can remember. Between loudness and quietness, he loves chanyeol the most. Chanyeol bring the excitement down his vein, where only the loudness of his sister can sometimes pleasured him. chanyeol bring down peace all over him, makes him feel like reborn to the better. Chanyeol calms his rapidly beating heart. chanyeol is everything, everything he wish to never give in for his sister.

 

 

 

 

 

Watching her sister talk animatedly about how perfect their date was, hers and chanyeol’s date was, with so much bright colours on her that sehun himself never dare to have, is too painful for his weak heart to take. He was never been in love before; he was always the one who afraid to fall, he was afraid, totally afraid to take a risk. But since chanyeol came to his dull life, and colours his dark days, he’s determined that he’s going to take any risk that facing him and fall for the taller. Because for him, to falling for the hyung is worth all the risk.

 

But the risk of her own sister by blood, to fall for the man he’s hopelessly in love with along the way, is never in his list of fatal risk.

 

He tries to smile widely for the girl in his front, he tries so hard to take back the tears that threatened to fall smoothly down his cheek, he tries so hard to seem happy for her. Even if he all torn apart and wreck on the inside.

 

“sehunniee, I think I love him. waaaay before the date. I think it was like… love at first sight”

Her sister whispers softly, finishing the words with a soft smile on her lips, seemingly talking to no one but herself as if she just realized it her self just now.

 

As sehun’s ears catch those words, he was anything but in chaos. His heart wrecked harshly, his mind is nothing but a total havoc. The atmosphere is suddenly so suffocating just as the words that leave baekhee’s mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s another lonely autumn, he’s been through a rough couple months. His sister has been spending her time dating with chanyeol. And even if its been 3 months, his heart still yearns for chanyeol, his heart still howling like a lone wolf underneath the full moon every time he saw her own sister in chanyeol’s arm. He swears to let go, he swears to give in, but just like all the sayings,

the hearts want what it wants. And his heart wants chanyeol only.

 

 

The weather is too unfriendly for sehun to take a walk along the park, but his heart is too cold already, he doesn’t mind with the coldness surrounding his body. He sometimes wants to cry as he wishes to have chanyeol’s warmth for him as the wind strikes his smooth cheeks and leave a tinted pink around it. He sometimes wants to cry as he saw some couples share a warm big hug just to give each other warmth, for he wants him and chanyeol to be just like them.

And just as his first drop of tears about to fall, some strong big hands cover his sight, make him blinks away the tears. He was about to panic, but as the scent of mint and apple and safety hits his nostrils, that’s when he stills and relax to the touch, body almost leaning back for the other’s warmth.

 

“hyunng”

Again, sehun is breathless.

He can feel the vibration of the other’s body on his back as chanyeol chuckles and leave his hand from sehun’s eyes. Sehun similes.

“how can you know its me ?”

chanyeol ask as he walk in sehun’s side, transforming all the warmth to sehun’s left side.

“I just know”

Sehun smiles cheekily to the older, gaining him soft pat on the head from the taller in his side.

 

They walk together in the comfortable silence, they both feel too comfortable to utter some words, afraid to break the silence atmosphere that all too comfortable.

But as the hours tick by, and the sun is almost down, chanyeol finally breaks the silence, and unknowingly break sehun’s heart along the way.

 

 

“sehun? What do you think if I ask your sister to be my girlfriend?”

 

sehun froze in his track, leaving chanyeol to walk ahead of him.

 

“sehuna?”

 

chanyeol stop on his track too, face full of confusion as the older turns his body to face a frozen sehun.

 

“sehun? Are you okay?”

 

chanyeol tries to reach sehun by the hand, but the younger only slaps his hand away and stepping back, he keeps taking a step back away from chanyeol.

 

“sehun??”

 

chanyeol is about to panic at the younger sudden behaviour, worry is written all over his face.

 

Sehun’s heart break even more than it already is, his mind stop to function, his body is too heavy for him to control, and the threatening tears, they ware finally able to fall freely down his cheek. And as sehun cries in pain, the older start to panic more. He’s still trying his hard to reach the younger and ask what is wrong, but the younger keep stepping back, and it terrifies the older to the point that chanyeol is almost losing his mind. Just what happen?

 

Sehun cries more, and chanyeol pleads him to explain what’s wrong.

 

“no hyung… no.. please no..”

 

At this point, as sehun’s brain stops to properly function, he only chants some nonchalant words chanyeol can’t understand even a bit.

 

Losing his patience, and drown in the sea of worry, chanyeol take a hard step and grab sehun to his arms, he hugs sehun so tight that himself almost lost his mind.

Sehun cry in chanyeol’s arms, still chanting words no one understand. But as his cry die down, and his hiccups no longer covering his voice, that’s when chanyeol pointy ears finally catch what the younger says in his cry.

 

“Please hyung… don’t leave me.. I love you.. Let me be selfish just for once..”

Sehun speaks in whispers, almost losing him self, almost give in on his consciousness.

Exact opposite of the younger, chanyeol’s eyes widen in shock, his heart throbs just as a thunder just strike right through it. He feels almost as dizzy as how sehun’s feels.

 

 

“I love you hyungg”

 

“please let me be selfish”

 

“please…”

 

The words keep repeating by itself on sehun’s lips. He keeps chanting the same exact words like it’s the only thing he can hold on in his life. And chanyeol’s heart throbs even more as the words flow more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All his life, chanyeol always has been in love with the younger.

Heck, he feels hopelessly in love with the younger. He fell in love in every little thing of sehun. From how his features always seem so beautiful and bright it’s blinding him, to the way his soft act and behaviour made him fall deeper and deeper every passing time.

He’s all hopeless,

Because he thought, he thought what’s going on between him and sehun will never work out, the world wont accept this kind of love, no, the world never accept. And sehun is too beautiful and too pure for the world to throw shit on him, chanyeol wont let that happen.

But as the time flies, he fell even more deep, he feel hopeless to the point that he thought that sehun’s resembling can mend his broken heart and made him fall in love again.

He thought that baekhee, that features resemble sehun a lot, could fix the broken pieces of his heart.

 

But boy he was so wrong, because baekhee is not sehun.

 

She can _never_ be sehun.

 

 

 

“im sorry..”

chanyeol finally said, slicing the thick atmosphere that clouding around them, stopping sehun on his series of rambling.

 

“I love you too sehun-ah”

Softly, chanyeol says the three magical words so painfully softly. He cups both of sehun’s cheek with so much carefulness on it, as if sehun made of an easy broken glass. He moves sso slowly to the point it kills sehun inside, waiting for the next move.

And when chanyeol’s lips meet his forehead after those three little words, sehun’s breath hitched, his eyes widen, his heart beating frantically in chaos, but surprisingly his body feels nothing but peace, his eyes watered unknowingly, wetting his already wet cheeks.

 

Just when sehun is about to do something, anything, just to make chanyeol sure that he feels the same as the older, and that he feels as deeply in love to the older.

Chanyeol let go, chanyeol’s hands leave sehun frozen cheeks as he let his arms fall beside him, taking away all the warmth that for a moment linger on sehun’s cheeks that almost made him leaning blissfully.

 

Both of the frozen on their spot, they’re facing each other with such an intense stare. Sehun wants to scream, but his own voice fails him. He wants to reach for chanyeol, but again, his arms fails him.

 

After minutes of staring, chanyeol smiles softly to him, eyes full of adoration and something sehun recgonize as love, but as he was about to finally reach the taller; he turns around so quickly and sprint away from him. Leaving sehun alone with so much unspoken words stuck on his throat, alone with so much wondering going around on his pretty little head, alone with empty heart that failed to fix.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s been a week since sehun’s last eventful meeting with chanyeol, he’s been wondering all for nothing, he keeps searching for the older but its like he’s vanished from the earth, he cant find him.

He’s the most wrecked than he’s all ever been, its unfair how chanyeol dedicate his feeling for him then leave like a ghost the next second.

He was so wrecked,

So is baekhee.

 

 

“hunnie?”

He hears his sister whimpers his name; he turns to her as he sent a heart-warming smile to her.

 

“Do you hear anything about chanyeol? Do you finally find him?”

Sehun sigh at this, his chest tightens around his heart, its almost hard for him to breathe steadily at this rate. Chanyeol leaving his sister done so much on breaking her apart, he almost never hear the same loud cheers that was so baekhee, he almost never see the excited baekhee who loves to jumps around like a little kid. Chanyeol seriously tearing her apart, and sehun almost hate him self for that.

He always wants the best for baekhee, but just for this once, he wants chanyeol for him self, he would give up his world for baekhee, but not chanyeol. He would never thread chanyeol for anything.

 

 

Sometimes at night, if not all the time, sehun would cries in the silence of his dark room. It’s like all the colours in life are leaving him behind, even the moon won’t even share her shines down to his room. Chanyeol is all he’s thinking about, in every second of his daily, his brain never fail to think of him.

 

 

 

Weeks passed by,

Her sister is getting better, while he’s not.

Day by day he saw her sister recover by her self, building herself back to the survace. He saw how her sister smiles all wide like she used to.

But he saw no progress on himself, he was and stills the same quiet sehun, but this time, it’s a quiet sehun with an unfixed broken heart.

He never smiles, not even to baekhee, for his reason to smile left him weeks ago.

He throws zero smiles to his older sister, which only made her even more worried about him. He doesn’t want talk to any one, again, not even to his sister.

And at night, he still cries for the love that never return.

 

 

_Im sorry? What do you mean by sorry hyung?_

 

Sehun sometimes ask too many unanswered question to himself, he keeps blaming himself for chanyeol’s leaving.

He also sometimes thinks, chanyeol is sorry to love him.

 

And all day and all night, he never fails to tell himself that he’s unworthy.

 

 

 

 

 

He’s tired, his heart is tired, and his soul is tired.

Its in the middle of December, snows falling beautifully around him, the weather is not nice, but its really beautiful outside.

 

His house is full with cheers and happiness, all feelings he doesn’t feels, he feels too suffocated by the happy atmosphere. He grabs his coat mindlessly and leaves the house without anyone knowing.

He let his feet drags him further away from home, he let his feet drag him back to the exact place where he last met with the man he loves weeks ago.

As his feet reach the exact ground, he stares down on it; the used to be pavement was full with pure white snows. If not from the cold weather, he surely would cry right now. Thanks to the coldness, he’s bale to freeze down his tears and also his heart.

He turns his head around, looking for some bench he can sit on, but as his eyes wonder, and as his body turns to his back, his eyes meet with the beautiful hazel’s one.

And all the tears he thought he was able to freeze down finally fall smoothly down his reddening cheeks.

His mouth gapes in an ugly way, as he takes the view in his front. It feels so surely as his slender hands finally has it strength to trace down the smooth cheek in front of him, he touch the cheeks carefully with his shaking hands, made the owner of the cheeks to lean to the touch.

 

“hyung..”

Again, like he always does, he’s breathless.

**Author's Note:**

> so i guess i suck at making summary too,  
> another chanhun drabble would be up soon! i promise it will be less lame lol


End file.
